it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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