Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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