i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize