I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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