I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize