im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize