my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would fuck him just for his dog
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize