I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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