I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
this is an emotional support booty call
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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