eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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