I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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