i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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