My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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