my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
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He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
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I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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