You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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