i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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