I love black thongs
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
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The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
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Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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