Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he puts the penis in happiness.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
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