She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I want a musical about memes.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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