remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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