Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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