Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Who died my cat blue again?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize