its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize