i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'm always down for nudity.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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