I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
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No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
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Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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