You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize