margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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