I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
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I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
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How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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