Your dad touched me again.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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