Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize