I wish I only lived at night.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
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And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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