The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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