Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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