Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
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Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
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Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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