1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
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