Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize