I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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