he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize