I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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