why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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