I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize