i need an iv and a liver transplant
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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