You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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