I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize