didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
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