And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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