If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
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No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
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He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
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