that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I believe in your delicious
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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