i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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