Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize